The Swindle: A Vicious Cycle

Okay, so in being on social media and also having real life experiences of my own, I have come to realize a few valuable tidbits about people in general and about men and women separately. First of all, we're all full of shit. There. It's been said, and now that it's out of the way we can all move on. Men, y'all be lying and ladies we be falling for it. Now before I go any further and confuse someone out there like I said in the title this is a cycle and like in so many cycles it may not be clear where it begins and ends and begins again...BUT (I think) I GOT IT!!! Pull up a chair, kids, and listen up close.

We'll begin with the men. Fellas, y'all. be. lying. To women, to  yourselves, to your friend zoned home girl, your dog. Just anyone who has ears to hear you will lie to them, and often times not even on purpose and then be mad when a bitch catches feelings and starts liking your ass -- lemme explain -- young men will say/do just about ANYTHING to get in some pannies (yes, pannies) when the ONLY thing that NEEDS to be said is, "Hey girl, I want to get in them pannies, please." You should always ask politely. (Now, check the title, I told y'all this is a cycle before you go hollering that shit will never work) Anything said or done beyond that in order to add a body to your count is a bold faced, bald headed ass, LIE! Taking her to the movies and out to eat and kicking it with her and asking about her day and sending good morning texts is only doing two things. A. Making her think that you like her and 2. making her like you and begin to develop feelings about and for you. STOP IT. If all you want is the draws just say it. There are only two answers that can follow. Yes. OR No. It's simple. She says yes: You do it. You leave. The end. If she says no, you move on. The end. It's not rocket science, folks. Think of it like this guys if she wants a relationship and you don't wouldn't you, after declining her offer, want her to move the hell on and leave you alone?

KEEP UP!

NOW LADIES!!! I know I know, half of you all are like, "I ain't bout to fuck no dude that just comes up and asks me for the sex, nah." BITCH, YOU LYIN!!! You knew you wanted to get with him the moment you saw him. You just don't want him to think you are a hoe. I ask, who gives a damn? We don't know your life all opinions of you are mere speculation. If you want him, get with him. The end. But for the sake of the cycle here were go. He takes you out (lying) selling you all kinds of woof tickets and you start to like him when all he wanted to do was fuck: THE SWINDLE there it is. DO NOT FALL for it!!! It is almost inevitable that you will spend time with this man and begin to develop some type of feelings for him. STOP! Recognize as soon as humanly possible if, in fact, you are being hit with a swindle. There are signs, "Well we talk a little, text, but he seem kinda shy like he don't talk much." CAUSE HE DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU!!! He's not interested in knowing much more about you than what it is that that mouth do. I'm just saying. Recognize it and act accordingly. "On our first date he asked me to come back to his place after." WELL...I bet he put yo ass out after you're done too! There is nothing wrong with giving it to him. But do it on YOUR TERMS. Don't it to him because he took you out on a couple dates and now he is EXPECTING to get it. Nah, dawg it don't work that way. We stopped playing YOUR game the moment you started lying about what you wanted.

are you still with me???

Back to the fellas. You want bitches to fuck you. Cool. Stop calling them hoes for doing it. Simple. Being considered a hoe or called a slut is these hoes biggest insecurity. If you want them to give up the pannies STOP JUDGING. Would you, if every time you did something you like, oh let's say go shooting ball at the gym, got called cake boy? NO sir! You would stop playing ball all together. Saying that women who have sex with men because they like having sex is like saying men who shoot ball at the gym all day Saturday are pussies. It's just not damn true. So stop!

Now, let's recap. The cycle: Men want the pannies so they lie, women catch feelings because they've been given and illusion of reciprocation, y'all do the nasty and she all in love. And it just keeps going around and around and around. We gotta nip this in the bud guys. Just be upfront with people. Sure her feelings might be a little hurt cause all you wanna do is fuck, but hey she may still give it to you. Only NOW, since you were honest, she doesn't have any false expectations about what she is to you and who you will be to her. Of course you will have the occasional delusional bitch who gives it up and tries to change you. That's not your problem. STAY honest and in the court of love/hate/you wham bam thank you ma'am'd me you will be the who has the favored ruling!

You are dismissed.


Comment, like, discuss...whatever!

Let's Talk About... SEX!!!

My very first Blog post. I'm excited. Any feedback, comments, or concerns are welcomed and appreciatied! I hope you enjoy!
Sex. Everyone is doing it, right? Two (or more) consenting adults getting together to "do it", these days, is not such a big deal, right?
Everybody does it so what's the fuss about, right? Getting out there and getting some should be a piece if cake... or at least one would think, but let's take a step back and look at an angle I never explored until I was faced with the issue of finding a NEW sex partner after ending a long-term monogamous committed relationship.
Now, some of you might say, "Helen, you are an attractive, young vixen. You should have no problem finding a man to be with in bed." True as that may be, most women in this situation (including myself) don't want just any man. Even if he is only to serve a physical purpose. There are a few SPEED BUMPS before a woman (or man) on the road to finding "The One". To have sex with, that is.

1. Finding a new partner is NOT like picking a new flavor of ice cream.
Oh, if only it could be so simple...
Whenever I go to Coldstone, TCBY, or some other similar venue I petty much know what I want, but when I get inside I almost ALWAYS sample at least two other flavors just to be sure or if there is something new I've yet to try. Apply this practice to finding a lover and there is no certainty of what you might get except a trip around the block or two and a name for yourself before you finally find "The One". Its not very becoming of anyone to go around trying sex partners like the flavor of the week!

2. If you know me, you know that Drake is FAR from my favorite rapper, but he said it best. "How you supposed to find the one when anyone will come with you?" Even apart from being in a relationship...and to add to that... How am I supposed to get with someone when a lot of these SOMEONES out here will get with ANYONE? You know what they say, "When you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone they have ever slept with." That's a hard pill to swallow, but brings me to my final point and question...

3. Who are you doing? We are all adults here so let's be real who is NOT having sex (at some point) these days? You finally found "The One". You've been out of the game for months, looking...and you found them. But what about this person whom you have decided to be intimate with? Since EVERYBODY is doing it- Who are they doing it with? Is it more than one person? And now that they are "The One" will you also be that to them? Is that too much to ask outside of the confines of a committed relationship, sexual monogamy? Or is it too much to ask, if you decide to enter into a sexually polygamous relationship, who else is involved and when (not in complete detail, but in general time frame). One has the right to know, right? I would sure hope so...
Or does that even work? Being sexually exclusive without having a romantic relationship. Ponder on that and let me know what you guys think!